Broken Love

Broken Love

By William Blake (1757–1827)

MY Spectre around me night and day
Like a wild beast guards my way;
My Emanation far within
Weeps incessantly for my sin.
‘A fathomless and boundless deep,
There we wander, there we weep;
On the hungry craving wind
My Spectre follows thee behind.
‘He scents thy footsteps in the snow
Wheresoever thou dost go,
Thro’ the wintry hail and rain.
When wilt thou return again?
’Dost thou not in pride and scorn
Fill with tempests all my morn,
And with jealousies and fears
Fill my pleasant nights with tears?
‘Seven of my sweet loves thy knife
Has bereavèd of their life.
Their marble tombs I built with tears,
And with cold and shuddering fears.
‘Seven more loves weep night and day
Round the tombs where my loves lay,
And seven more loves attend each night
Around my couch with torches bright.
‘And seven more loves in my bed
Crown with wine my mournful head,
Pitying and forgiving all
Thy transgressions great and small.
‘When wilt thou return and view
My loves, and them to life renew?
When wilt thou return and live?
When wilt thou pity as I forgive?’
‘O’er my sins thou sit and moan:
Hast thou no sins of thy own?
O’er my sins thou sit and weep,
And lull thy own sins fast asleep.
‘What transgressions I commit
Are for thy transgressions fit.
They thy harlots, thou their slave;
And my bed becomes their grave.
‘Never, never, I return:
Still for victory I burn.
Living, thee alone I’ll have;
And when dead I’ll be thy grave.
‘Thro’ the Heaven and Earth and Hell
Thou shalt never, quell:
I will fly and thou pursue:
Night and morn the flight renew.’
‘Poor, pale, pitiable form
That I follow in a storm;
Iron tears and groans of lead
Bind around my aching head.
‘Till I turn from Female love
And root up the Infernal Grove,
I shall never worthy be
To step into Eternity.
‘And, to end thy cruel mocks,
Annihilate thee on the rocks,
And another form create
To be subservient to my fate.
‘Let us agree to give up love,
And root up the Infernal Grove;
Then shall we return and see
The worlds of happy Eternity.
‘And throughout all Eternity
I forgive you, you forgive me.
As our dear Redeemer said:
“This the Wine, and this the Bread.”’

Seeing things a little more clearly?

Just got HDTV. Did Brini Maxwell used to be a man?

TGI PMS

Today was a little bit bizarre. I thought I was coping (Webster: "to deal with and attempt to overcome problems and difficulties") with some bad luck. But then I just started to CRY. And while I was able to stop myself through sheer willpower, I began to question my whole mental well-being. Hours later, having arrived safely back home, I realized I had PMS without knowing it. Praises be, I'm not all that crazy. Who came up with this condition anyway? It's medical and real, right? I mean, the mental part of it? Right? Right?

There's a sweetness
To that part of the library
Made just for children.

If you want to feel insignificant
Move to a big city
Unless you can somehow
Attach yourself to the significance
Of that city
Will we be alright then, my darling?

My life is a freight train
Barreling towards death
I'm sorry --
What were you saying?

Moth-eaten sweater
Moth-eaten dream
Day in and day out
Betwixt and between

Can I move forward
And start with today
Ace those resolutions
There must be a way

Perhaps less comfortable
Perhaps more poor
Concentrate, concentrate
Concentrate more

Then again I wonder
Is it even worth the try
Will the grass be any greener
On the other side?

The Salon Performance

Tonite I went to a salon performance at the school I study at, the Isadora Duncan Dance Foundation. It was delightful. A pianist, some classical music, sprightly dancers in flowing tunics, and don't forget the vodka! (A Russian tribute.) It's always astounding to bathe in the glowing energy of those who truly love what they do. And they get to dance for a living! Dance! Can you imagine?

I start my classes again on Saturday! Wheee!!!

It must be love

How else could I have gone to the "One Man Star Wars" with him?

Va Va Voom, Va Va V

Va Va V is a really good friend of mine
She had a birthday just the other day
She took me to Naw'lins for my 3-0
So I really just have to repay

Here's your tribute, Va Va V
You model-esque doll
With your long, long legs
And perfect hair

Your Tiffany pearls looked really good
the other night
And your personality
is such a delight
I wish you would stay inna my sight
Instead of running off to your uptown pad

You're a girl on the town
Another year older?
Don't feel down -
I will still be around

At least until you have those little kids!

The book month

I've ordered my first book online, "The Echoing Grove," which the film "The Heart of Me" was based on. And last nite instead of just browsing the magazines at Barnes & Noble, I actually looked at the books!!! What are my poor proofreading eyes thinking???

Anyway, I immediately delved into "Post Secret," based on the website link on this blog. It is so, so funny. Laughed aloud several times, right from my gut!

I also got "No Applause - Just Throw Money, The Book that made Vaudeville Famous." It's written by Trav S.D., a wonderful guy and performer I met while doing the Ed Wood Festival in '00. It was right at the front of the store! I'm so excited for him!

Finally, I got "700 Sundays" by Billy Crystal. It was 50% off!

Look, Ma, I'm reading!!! (Mom is an English teacher who is always completely up on the latest literature.)

Gratitude

I started a "gratitude journal," which is really just a list of 10 things I'm grateful for. I've made two lists so far. Rah, rah, ree!

Wrong wrong wrong

The desk clerks at my gym eat McDonald's at the juice bar.
Horrifying.

20 Feet From Broadway

We ended up at a wine tasting party near Times Square on New Year's Eve. Somehow this led to us trying to see the ball drop a half hour before midnight. We got to 58th Street and 20 feet from Broadway. Twenty feet from Broadway. Isn't that just typical of our lives?

We saw the fireworks anyhow.