Mr. Cohen, On Beauty

I came so far for beauty left so much behind My patience and my family My masterpiece unsigned I thought I'd be rewarded For such a lonely choice And surely she would answer To such a very hopeless voice I practiced on my sainthood I gave to one and all But the rumours of my virtue They moved her not at all I changed my style to silver I changed my clothes to black And where I would surrender Now I would attack I stormed the old casino For the money and the flesh And I myself decided What was rotten and what was fresh And men to do my bidding And broken bones to teach The value of my pardon The shadow of my reach But no, I could not touch her With such a heavy hand Her star beyond my order Her nakedness unmanned I came so far for beauty I left so much behind My patience and my family My masterpiece unsigned

Showering with Cockroaches, Part II: Fighting for Beauty

A curious reader posted a question. He/she wanted to know if I actually went back to bed after the shower/cockroach incident.

Dear Reader,

Sometimes you have to push through. Sometimes you shouldn't give up. Sometimes you can fight for beauty, and win!

I fought for beauty on that day. I did not give up. (It was a balmy autumn day, so I had my Raleigh Retroglide Cruiser bicycle brought down the four flights of stairs. And took it to the park for a ride. Riding a bicycle in the fall in a park is a definite must. You can erase your insect troubles. You can forget the dirty dishes. And you can feel free like you do when you realize you have an extra day of sunshine although you face a cold winter ahead.)

I guess you have to fight for beauty like you have to fight for an acting career. When agents shut their doors in your face, when critics fail to appreciate your performance, when you're stuck playing opposite a bad actor, or stuck in a silly showcase, you suck it up. And find something to learn out of it. And you hope for a better tomorrow.

Thanks for your question, Reader. And good luck!

The Yoga Grinch?

Just when I was moping about claiming post-show depression and Seasonal Affective Disorder, I had a real problem thrown in my face. I was robbed. Luckily, I was not mugged, which I've always been insanely afraid of since I moved to New York City. No, I merely left my wallet in my bag in a cubby hole at yoga class, along with all the other students. I came out, and it was nowhere to be found. It didn't have a lot of cash in it, maybe $16. But the debit and credit cards were my main concern, along with the future problems of identity theft. Sigh.

I called my bank first. Then my other bank. Then the cops. They didn't seem incredibly helpful, but the report is filed. There weren't any security cameras in the studio, but they did have a log of everyone who took class. It could've been a student, or maybe a stranger wandered in while the secretary wasn't looking. We just don't know yet. We do know the thief went right to Macy's and started using my debit card, spending over $500. I didn't even have that much in my account, but I have this thing called Checking Plus that lets me keep spending if I overdraw. Not helpful in this situation. Anyway, hopefully we can clear everything up. Macy's does have security cameras. We'll see...

Not a great way to start the holiday season!

The Ephemeral Theater

"You make beauty and it disappears, I love that."

Far Away, Caryl Churchill

Diagnosis: Well

It isn't cancer because you're just too handsome
Your heart beats strong when you hug me hello
You run every day
And avoid cheese

It isn't cancer because you're the caretaker
You're funny and smart
You do all the driving
And plan the vacations

It isn't cancer because the Tigers didn't win yet
And the Democrats just got their power back
The war isn't over
Those good guys still have to pull through

It isn't cancer because you're a gardener
You make the world more beautiful
And that counts for something
I'm sure God will understand

It isn't cancer because I love you
You took care of me
And I wouldn't know what to do

So eat your leeks
I don't want to hear
any more worries
Or doubts

We can believe one more day
I don't want to cry again

IjustwantsomethingtotaketheedgeoffIjustwantsomethingtotaketheedgeoffijustwantsomethingtotaketheedgeoff

Not much stops New Yorkers in their tracks.
Not celebrity sightings. Or free newspapers.
But real estate ads, now those are important!

The Redundancy of Loneliness

There's a weathered pack of Marlboros on my fire escape
I miss my mother
I took a livery cab home from a party at 2am
I miss my mother
I do my prep work on a tv tray
I miss my mother
The pregnancy test came back negative
I miss my mother
The plane fare is double this year
I miss my mother

You ask me if I want to talk
But sometimes a poem is just a poem.

I am officially old.

I've discovered I LOVE the opera.

The detective took me to The Barber of Seville at the Met (directed by Bartlett Sher, of Light in the Piazza fame). We sat in the Family Circle (aka, nosebleed) section, but the acoustics were excellent. The acting was excellent! It was a very funny show! And there were subtitles right in front of our seats. Next time, however, I will bring my opera glasses.

The Shower

Saturday morning
Scrubbing the soles of my feet
And sending the scurrying cockroaches
Down the drain with cups of water
Shall I just go back to bed?

The Performance and the President

Thank goodness our director didn't tell us he was coming, but last night the playwright and former president of the Czech Republic, Vaclav Havel, attended our show! After the show, our director ran to the dressing room to tell us to stay in costume for a special photo...with Mr. Havel! I got to shake his hand. He really seemed to like the show. Apparently, a couple of the actors had a clue, as they saw a mysterious tall man standing to the side of the audience, not wishing to be seated (bodyguard/security?). Another girl saw him in the audience as she was delivering her last line! Some people got him to sign their scripts, but mine was in pretty rough shape from schlepping it about for months. Ah, well!

Opening Night

My show, The Memo by Vaclav Havel, opens tonight! I started out the day feeling good. But the stresses of a day job can get to you! Breathe! Breathe and pray! Unlike Broadway, with off-off Broadway, you don't get preview performances, no reprieve from messing up! But there are no reviewers tonight, we are promised. So, break a leg, break a heart, and, um, have fun! Yeah, that's why I do this!